10:11 am - Saturday, Apr. 23, 2005
Maudlin.
That's how I feel.
The Dalai Lama says you can feel happier by thinking really hard about how much worse things are for someone else. I'm finding it difficult. And a new source of guilt, because why the hell am I bitching when there are people working in sweat houses, right?
Here's why.
Hmmmm.... how to put it delicately, there is an important person in my life whose life is OUT OF CONTROL right now, and in order to stay sane this person likes to focus on what they can control. Healthy, I suppose. But, this means that when the person is relating to me they are looking for things to fix, because that would be a way to undo some of the entropy in their life. They are not trusting me, they are not empowering me, and they are not leaving me alone.
Frankly, it wears thin.
But I am not half naked and hungry in a dark room tying thousands of knots in a rug for 20 cents a day, right?