10:59 pm - Saturday, Aug. 05, 2006
Maybe not all....

I am lonely. That is not a complaint. It is a fact.
A symptom of this is that I am finding myself compulsed to read blogs. For the first time in my life I leave Comments on them, like an e-bunny leaving a trail of turds as I graze on cyber space.
I read a blog and wish I was prettier, made art, wrote well, went out and had fun like the person I'm reading about at the moment. And I find myself in this schizoid conversation where the part of me that's happy with who I am gets disgusted at this maudlin part of me and has harsh words with her.
People I knew would say that I need to go back to work, or I shouldn't have quit in the first place. That's not it. I have no desire to go back to making forms for a living.
I spent several hours today pumping breast milk, making my daughter giggle, trying to get her to roll over, trying to get her to sleep, feeding her, pumping milk again, and I wouldn't want to be anyhwere else. That's the truth.
So what's the deal? Can I meet my need for social interaction online? Is that possible, or even healthy?
PS: This is the 2nd entry today.