12:56 pm - Wednesday, Jul. 21, 2004
Life wears on.
How good am i!?! This is like the third entry in three days! And I scooped the cat box and cleaned a fan yesterday. Less guilt for me!

We are going to move downstairs! This is very good, and a little scary. Loon is going to move in with us- this way we can all get more for less. She'll have most of the basement to herself and share the kitchen and living room and stuff with us. Downstairs there's room for our stuff to be PUT AWAY. Our kitchen stuff will go in cabinets. Our Clothes will go in CLOSETS. Our tools and whatnot will go IN THE WORK ROOM. We will have a WASHING MACHINE, which makes it worth moving if for no other reason. Our stuff will have homes that are out of our sight. Ahhhh.

I am nervous though. I'm afraid of what Hayric will think about the state of the old apartment. I really think I took pretty good care of it; I replaced a door and a window, and I kept up the bathroom that they redid nice. I pulled out a whole mess of redcarpet and repainted Boy's room. BUT... the apartment hasn't been repainted since before I moved in , and it looks like it. The floors need to be refinished, and the carpet was nasty when I moved in and no amount of carpet shampooing that I did could get the Koolaid stains out. Sigh.

Also, I hate moving. HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT. And moving downstairs means that we will have to move again in a years time, because Loon will be moving on and we won't be able to afford living there. Yuck.

Also, the rent will go up $50 a month, the gas/electric bills will go up, I have to start paying back my student loans ($138 a month), and our income is about to be reduced by $200 a month when we get Boy adopted by Simon.

I did a little looking into things, and I could get some cleaning gigs without even trying- a lady here at work that I did some cleaning for said she knew 3 people who could use me, so that would make up for the loss of income and maybe bring in enough to cover the increases.... Simon is bummed because he tries and tries to get a job and no-one responds. It is so damn hard to get a job, and it stinks because I know he'd be great at any job he got. I sure would miss him though; if he worked after school I'd never see him!

Sigh.

I realized the other day, upon returning from "Vacation", that I get very little meaningful human contact at work. I'm going to turn into one of those little old lady's who talks your ear off in the grocery store- especially if Simon gets a job. There is some chit chatting here and there. I don't have much in common with most of the people here. I don't feel connected to them. I feel alone. It makes me want to be at home, where I'm loved and Simon appreciates me and I'm not alone.

Sometimes even at home I feel old and lame. I need to get back into the things I like to do. Hey! The day before yesterday I got the guitar out- there's something. And I looked for a math book. I didn't find it or doing anything else about it, but it's a step in the right direction, right?I think I'll get my hair trimmed too- it looks kinda ratty. And if I can continue to pull off turning the air conditioner off at work I may even start wearing my cute clothes I like, instead of the ugly eskimo clothes I've been wearing.

Yesterday at work I spent all day making up procedures for our Quality control. Today I've been faxing and faxing and printing and typing and doing data entry, and even though I told everyone I'm on lunch they ask me for stuff because I'm sitting here typing.

Boy has been going to summer camp this week, maybe I already told you that... he loves it. This camp is nice because they've scheduled things so that you can drop your kid off before work an pick them up after. Isn't that swell? Yesterday Evening Loon came over and we wandered around downstairs making plans and figuring things out. Simon and I are going to start going downstairs and working on things little by little in the evenings- we need to do some shopping first though, and we need to go gorcery shopping at some point, unless we want to eat nothing but cereal breakfast lunch and dinner.

My dad wants Boy to come out and visit, and it looks like he may be able to pull it off. I don't know- Boy would be flying by himself, and he'd undoubtedly have to change planes, so I imagine this could put a snag in things. And I'm honestly worried about how the visit would go. Sigh. I'm such a worry wort.

Which reminds me- Simon and Boy are all excited about this program where they take kids up for a flight in a dinky excuse for an airplane. This is supposed to get kids all geared up to be a pilot when they grow up. I DON'T TRUST SMALL AIRCRAFT. I've agreed to these hijinks under protest. PROTEST.

Ok, boy howdy, that was a long entry. See what I mean? It's started already...