11:21 pm - Wednesday, Jun. 21, 2006
Masturbation
Just because you do a thing well don't mean it is going to be easy. I'm saying, we've apparently done a good job of making Boy feel comfortable talking to us about sex, because he does. Which then means we have to talk to him about sex.
Sheesh.
So we're playing Animal Crossing. The details are a little hazy to me now, in the aftermath of the conversational horrors that occured. Somehow the character onscreen was moving suggestively, and Boy made a comment that it looked like it was masturbating, except of course, it was a girl, and they can't do that.

...

Ummm.
So I says to Simon, are you doing this, or am I, and he says it's all yours.
Swell.
So I say, And what makes you think that girls can't masturbate? And he says they can't, because they don't get horny. How would they masturbate?
And I tell Simon I started it, it's his turn.
Somehow, in the august learning environs known as The Bus, Boy had been taught that being horney meant getting an erection. So Simon pointed out that you can get an erection without being horny. Boy conceeds the point. Then we point out that girls get horny. And again he protests, there's no way. What would happen? "Would their hairs get sticky?"
I have no idea where he got that, but of course Simon had to conceed, well, actually...
Somehow we brought the conversation around to the fact that being horny meant wanting to have sex. Therefore women could, and do, get horny. But Boy remained confused, because he thought girls were in a constant state of readiness for sex- they didn't have to get hard, so what more was there? And I said, that's a common view among many males that led to much sadness among women.
We summed up the conversation by saying that women had a few spots that felt good, namely the vagina and the clitoris. And we left it at that.
Urg.
So as uncomfortable as Simon and I were, we must have done the right thing, right? I mean, all of those times we chased Boy around the house saying "Vagina" must have paid off.
Afterwords I asked Simon if he ever talked to his parents about sex, and he said that never- not even one time- did he ever ever talk to them about sex. He figured it out. I am supposing that Boy would too. I know that it is supposed to be Good and Right for Boy to be able to come to us with sex questions, but it feels Awkward and Icky.