9:04 pm - Sunday, Jul. 18, 2004
Boo
I've been scared. I felt pretty tired. Then I felt even tireder. Then tireder still, and I began to think that perhaps "It" was back. And I began to despair. I don't want to give my life up- 'cause that's what happens, I have to give up my life piece by piece, say goodbye to my family and sleep...

and then an interesting thing happened. I had been taking a generic version of my medicine, and when I switched to the real stuff I felt better inside a week. Hmmmm. I don't know what the difference is, but you couldn't pay me to take the generic again.

The relief. It's like being in the chair and the goverernor calls- seriously. It's one thing to go through something the first time and not know how bad it's going to be, but the second time it's worse because you know what you have to dread. You would do absolutely anything to keep it from happening, but there's nothing to do but watch your life go down the shit hole.

There haven't been many entries in a long time, but I'm back and I have a lot of catching up to do, so expect that to change. There was an incident at work, there's news about Loon, my mother, my uncle's death, the upcoming move, and I don't even know what all else...